The Dos and Don’ts of Becoming Your Friends’ and Family’s Real Estate Agent

Whether you pursue them or they come to you, it’s bound to happen at some point during your real estate career — representing your friends or family when they buy or sell.

Handled correctly, it can be a great client-agent relationship. 

• There’s a familiarity and mutual respect from the get-go
• You understand their wants and needs; they understand your style 
• You’ll help them get a deal they’re happy with and you’ll get a testimonial and infinite word-of-mouth referrals.

But if handled incorrectly, it’s not just your business relationship at stake — your personal relationship could be at risk, too.

To successfully represent your friend or family in real estate you need to know what to do and what not to do. Keep reading for the do’s and don’t of becoming your friends’ and family members’ real estate agent.

Do Treat Them With the Same Level of Service as Any Other Client

Representing a loved one when they buy or sell a home doesn’t mean you can phone it in. You might be tempted to do just a little bit less because hey, they’ll understand. But it’s not worth it.

Doing less than your best misrepresents your abilities as an agent and leaves your friend or family member feeling frustrated, underserved and worried about the impact on their sale or purchase.

If you’re going to take on a close connection as a real estate client, be prepared to treat them with the same level of service as your other clients — even if you’re planning on giving them a break on your commission. Otherwise you’re better off referring them to a colleague.

Don’t Forget About Legislation and the Code of Conduct

It’s crucial that agents make sure that they’re abiding by government legislation, industry code of conduct and their brokerage’s own rules when they choose to represent a close friend or family member. 

This means providing a certain standard of service (as discussed above), but it may also mean:

• Providing written disclosure of your relationship to your client
• Discussing and obtaining approval from your brokerage to reduce your commission (more on that below)
• Agreeing to certain conditions requested by the buyer or seller to ensure fairness

Do your homework before moving forward with the relationship. Review all legislation and code of conduct, and make sure you understand all potential land mines.

Do Protect Yourself and Your Boundaries

A preexisting personal relationship with your client means you might have a closeness and comfort, which can bring some ease to your professional relationship.  

But just like it’s important that you offer your typical standard of service, it’s important that you expect a typical standard of treatment from your client. And that means you need to protect yourself and your boundaries.

What does that look like in practice? Like…

• Letting them know (and then enforcing) your working hours
• Not doing anything that could compromise your integrity or reputation 
• Dividing your time equally amongst your clients (not spending an inordinate amount of time on this particular relationship)
• Keeping your marketing budget in check

Don’t Assume You’re on the Same Page About Commission 

Let’s be honest — many people expect some cost savings when they hire their friend or relative to be their real estate agent. They might assume you’ll waive or heavily discount your commission.

Meanwhile, you might assume that you’ll make the same percentage as usual.

You need to have a conversation about commission during your very first meeting, to ensure everyone is on the same page and to avoid issues further down the road. 

Think about what you need or what you’re prepared to offer before broaching the topic. (And make sure you understand your brokerage’s rules.) You’re the professional, so you need to guide the conversation.

If you’re not prepared to reduce your usual commission, your friend or relative may be surprised and upset. That’s why it’s so important to have this conversation very early on. 

Do Make Sure to Get a Strong Testimonial

Assuming your friend or relative is happy with the service you provided and the outcome, this is your chance to get the exact type of real estate testimonial you want.

You might typically feel uncomfortable providing testimonial-writing guidance to a client. But if it’s someone you’re close with, you can ask that they mention certain things or hit certain notes.

They might even be happy to provide a few different versions of a testimonial that you can use in different places and marketing materials, such as in Instagram Stories (and Instagram Highlights), your real estate newsletter and your real estate website.

Don’t Shy Away from Feedback

A friend or family member is also a great person to solicit constructive feedback from.

Opportunities for honest, private feedback — not in the form of a public bad real estate review — are rare. Take advantage of the chance to get an honest opinion without it embarrassing you or affecting your reputation.

You can ask about your communication style, demeanor, advice and process. You might glean some valuable insight that you can apply to future relationships.

Do you have tips for other agents when it comes to working with friends or family?